Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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