Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize