Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
