I'm jealous of your bromance
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I AM VODKA MAN
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
