you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize