thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
