talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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