I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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