***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
