Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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