Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
