I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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