so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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