awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
