some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
