afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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