1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
