God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
