I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize