I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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