apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
