me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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