Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
