Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
