you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
