Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
