is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
