piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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