I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
