i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize