i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize