We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
