Buhtt sex?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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