is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize
