there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
