doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
