I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
