i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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