hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
