So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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