the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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