The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
