You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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