But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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