Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
