It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
