Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
