drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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