I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
