4 words: hood of his car
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
