found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize