it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
