I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
