Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
vagina is talking i cant
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
