We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
