Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You are a genius and a whore.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize