He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i out mim tonsoeep
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
