I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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