How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My vagina just recognized that song.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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