there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
