Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
