This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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