Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
