I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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