You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you have to choose: penises or morals?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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