So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
