i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
