she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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